Verse 11: The Only Need

Second part of verse 11 reads, "...so that he shall have no need of spoil"

Why should a husband trust his wife? Because he has no other need. There is no other reason for him not to. "No need" clearly shows that a man with a virtuous wife have no wants of any type of gain, because he is not lacking of anything.

Well, I must say I raised my eyebrows pretty high on realising that it is my responsibility to make myself the "Only Need", and not expecting the my husband should be contented. So it is my job, my duty as as an aspiring virtuous woman to examine myself and see how I have caused worriness, uncertainty and discontentment in my husband. woah.............

A far cry from what most women these modern times would think - If he loves me, then he will have to prove himself to me. If he loves me, he will move mountains for me. If he loves me, I should be No.1 in his life. If he loves me, he will stand by me. Why? Because I am worth it. If he can't appreciate me and have other desires, then he doesn't deserves me in the first place.

Well well, who made women so great anyway? Are we not taught that ALL of us "have sinned and come short of the glor of God"? Amazing how egoistical women have become, and how we have usurp the bibilical authority and lordship of our husbands. Of course, I am not saying that we are to be treated like worthless slaves. Afterall, husbands have a greater duty to their wifes, and that is to love their wives as Christ love His Church. Now sacrificial love is very demanding for us mere mortals. So really, compared to their duty, a wife's job to make herself the "Only Need" is not that bad.

What verse 11 is saying is simply this, ladies, make yourself useful and do not be a burden in any way to your husbands. Do not demand, but provide. Men are really quite simple - they like to be fed (very important); they like to be shown affection; they like returning to a tidy home after their day at work.

In terms of managing my household matters, I think I am alright, but improvements are always welcomed. However, I think the real difficult part about making myself the "Only Need" is the feeling that I want to be acknowledged for my work all the time. It is probably because as a stay-at-home mom I do not receive standard work awards or salary that spell out my worth.

Now writing that out really makes me feel rather pathetic for even thinking this way. I have so many physical rewards staring back at me - the smiles on my husband's and daughter's face for example. How can anyone buy that? priceless...

These verses come to mind - "Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth... But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven... For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." Matthew 6:19-21.

I believe that the only way for me to be a happy worker, and truly turn myself into a "Need", is to keep my eyes heavenward, and remember always that all I am doing is for the Lord, even in days when I feel irritated or angry. This way, I will still want to do my best because while my sinful nature will probably cause me to work half-heartedly, I will not dare to spite my Lord and Saviour.

O truly I have to pray "Lord help me!" for this...

Verse 11: Caretaker of His Heart

I like how Proverbs 31 is written with 2 parts in each verse. This 2-part format helps in remembering the verses as well as understanding them without any confusion.

Verse 11 part one says - The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her...

Trust seems to be such a cheap concept these days, not only in the secular world, but sadly even among God's own. The rate of divorces is only going higher each year. Marriage is no longer a blessed union, but a contractual agreement that last only as long as it is viable for the couple to stay together. The term "commitment" has lost the sense of "till death do us part", because it has changed to "for as long as we want to". In the excitement of getting married and losing one's sanity in the preparation of THE perfect wedding, many do not truly ponder upon the significance of the wedding vow.

The Wedding Vow - I remember when we exchanged out vows. I was so focused on not getting my tongue twisted, that it felt like I did not put any real feelings when I repeated after our Pastor. Don't get me wrong, I know what I promised and I definitely meant it. It's just... well... at that moment.... maybe I'm being too critical of myself, especially being a Drama major and all. I've got to give myself a break and not see it as the "most important performance" of my life. And no, I don't mean performance as pretending, but as in a presentation of an authentic emotion. woah woah woah... I'm going to pull myself back, if not you are going to be subjected to my drama studies dribble. This is not meant to be a 300 page dissertation on performance.

Back to the VOW, yes... in capital letters, because it's oh so serious and important. It should not be something we decide to say in the most fashionable manner, but words that have to be deeply considered, understood and accepted before we sign on the dotted line so to speak. It is an unbreakable contract not only between a man and woman, but between them and God as well. You may be able to divorce each other in the eyes of the worldly law, BUT do you dare divorce God as well?

Pause and think about that.

What is a divorce, but the breaking of a commitment. And if you break a commitment with your spouse (save for reasons of fornication and desertion as stated in the bible), then truly you are breaking your commitment with God as well.

Trust should be the most valuable gift you can give to your husband, just as he should assure you of his faithfulness. Once we decide to join in Holy Matrimony, we are in fact giving... no... surrendering, our hearts and our all to each other. Verse 11 is not simply for husbands to trust their wives, but for wives to trust their husbands too. If you have been given the task of protecting and caring for a priceless object, you will most certainly be giving your 100% in fulfilling that task. Even more so we should be dedicated in being caretakers of our husbands' (and wives') hearts.