Verse 12: Why he will trust you

Verse 12a reads "She will do him good, and not evil..."

Well, if a wife wills to do her husband evil, she should not marry him in the first place. Unless she is a black widow who finds pleasure in torturing others, then again, that would be a totally different thing. Ladies, I am not talking about the mentally troubled here. I am examining myself and at the same time, thinking about all the wives out there. Why did we agree to be bound in marriage with our husbands? To plot evil? I sincerely hope not!

The "will do" in this part of the verse shows a conscious commitment to do what is good and beneficial for her husband. The verse does not say "she does" as in actions already performed, but "will do" meaning a wife will not only do but plan to do all that is good. With this assurance from his wife, will and can a husband not trust her? Of course, I see this being applied to husbands as well. How could they not plan to only do good to their wives? After all, husbands have a high calling t0 love their wives as their own flesh, as Christ loves us.

This is a key to a Godly marriage - that spouses are fully committed to do only good and not evil to each other. It is not an easy task for sinners even if we are born again. Our sinful nature will find ways to surface, and only by the grace of God we have His word and Spirit to help us resist the temptation to seek pleasures in evil deeds.

Think about this: This passage on a virtuous woman is not only written for ladies, but for the men as well. Women seek to become virtuous women, and men seek to find a virtuous woman. See how important this verse is? A man will seek a woman that will do him good. Proverbs 18:22 says "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord." A Good Thing! We are to be "a good thing" for our husband because it pleases the Lord. We do not do it for ourselves, or even for our husbands. We do it because it is to God's glory that we do so. By being committed to only doing good, we are really saying that we want what is best from God for our husbands.

This is a indeed a good reminder for myself. It helps me to place my priority right. That what I do should not merely be to receive some form of affirmation and appreciation from my husband. it is much more than that. I should strive to receive affirmation from God, that my actions are acceptable to the Lord.

Guess I should spend some time now and think what good things I can do... and what evil habits I ought to break.... once again... Oh Lord help me! I truly need the guidance of the Holy Spirit to guide me through this... Well, with God all things are possible...

Verse 11: The Only Need

Second part of verse 11 reads, "...so that he shall have no need of spoil"

Why should a husband trust his wife? Because he has no other need. There is no other reason for him not to. "No need" clearly shows that a man with a virtuous wife have no wants of any type of gain, because he is not lacking of anything.

Well, I must say I raised my eyebrows pretty high on realising that it is my responsibility to make myself the "Only Need", and not expecting the my husband should be contented. So it is my job, my duty as as an aspiring virtuous woman to examine myself and see how I have caused worriness, uncertainty and discontentment in my husband. woah.............

A far cry from what most women these modern times would think - If he loves me, then he will have to prove himself to me. If he loves me, he will move mountains for me. If he loves me, I should be No.1 in his life. If he loves me, he will stand by me. Why? Because I am worth it. If he can't appreciate me and have other desires, then he doesn't deserves me in the first place.

Well well, who made women so great anyway? Are we not taught that ALL of us "have sinned and come short of the glor of God"? Amazing how egoistical women have become, and how we have usurp the bibilical authority and lordship of our husbands. Of course, I am not saying that we are to be treated like worthless slaves. Afterall, husbands have a greater duty to their wifes, and that is to love their wives as Christ love His Church. Now sacrificial love is very demanding for us mere mortals. So really, compared to their duty, a wife's job to make herself the "Only Need" is not that bad.

What verse 11 is saying is simply this, ladies, make yourself useful and do not be a burden in any way to your husbands. Do not demand, but provide. Men are really quite simple - they like to be fed (very important); they like to be shown affection; they like returning to a tidy home after their day at work.

In terms of managing my household matters, I think I am alright, but improvements are always welcomed. However, I think the real difficult part about making myself the "Only Need" is the feeling that I want to be acknowledged for my work all the time. It is probably because as a stay-at-home mom I do not receive standard work awards or salary that spell out my worth.

Now writing that out really makes me feel rather pathetic for even thinking this way. I have so many physical rewards staring back at me - the smiles on my husband's and daughter's face for example. How can anyone buy that? priceless...

These verses come to mind - "Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth... But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven... For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." Matthew 6:19-21.

I believe that the only way for me to be a happy worker, and truly turn myself into a "Need", is to keep my eyes heavenward, and remember always that all I am doing is for the Lord, even in days when I feel irritated or angry. This way, I will still want to do my best because while my sinful nature will probably cause me to work half-heartedly, I will not dare to spite my Lord and Saviour.

O truly I have to pray "Lord help me!" for this...

Prayer: Our Weapon and Shield against God's enemies

Through the last week, I was given the task to listen and review audio sermons on prayer for our fellowship group on Friday evening. The job is to search for a sermon that fits in to the current theme of the fellowship group. Well I started of really, truly and seriously searching. I used the research skills gained from years spent in the academic institution and applied it to serving God.... or so I thought.

How misguided was I? Was I not searching for sermons on prayer? Then surely I should pray harder and not relying on my feeble human efforts. Don't get me wrong, I did pray before that, and I still believe we need to do some serious work, as a preacher said, we've got to put some legs into prayer. What I felt after my first attempt at finding the "right sermon" was a sense of unworthiness. The more I listened, the more I felt I knew nothing of the power of prayer, and I had very little assurance that God heard my prayers, because I spend more time worrying about what to pray, than actually praying. And so, all my prayers at the start of my search were for nought. How could I expect God to answer them, when I don't truly believe that God heard my prayers, let alone answered them?

Too often, we say prayers like reciting the notes for a presentation. We give the information, without actually revealing if we believe the information. We tell God our list of needs, wants, fears, but we do not express our true emotional desires.

Imagine this: There is a great story to be told one day by a certain speaker. You are ready to listen. You wait patiently with much eagerness for this long awaited event. The speaker begins. You sink in your seat in disappointment. Why? The speaker merely reads from the book, without much expression. Oh sometimes he will raise or quieten his voice, but that was about it. It was not a story telling session at all. It was a regurgitation of the words printed on paper. The speaker or should I say, reader, was not interested at all to be there. He had not desire to invest his emotions into it. He was merely invited to do a jobm and he did it accordingly. Your mind switched off.

I can see that I am guilty of being like the speaker/reader when I say my prayers. That was it, I simply say it like I am fulfilling some obligation. I had no understanding of what prayer is, and how prayer has the power to move mountains. And so, I was hardly assured that God heard and will answer my prayers.

I finally let go of my "control freak" attitude on finding the right prayer, and sought that God will lead me to one. Actually God had already led me to it, but I had not considered it as the right sermon to share because of multiple reasons and not one of those reasons was that the mesaage was weak. On the contrary, the message was clear, meaty and certainly what everybody needs. The sermon? "Prayer: I will pray with the spirit and with the understanding also" by John Bunyan. (We listened to Part 1 of 4 of Bunyan's treatise on Prayer

You can listen to it on SermonAudio.com. Here's an extract from Bunyan's message:

PRAYER is an ORDINANCE of God, and that to be used both in public and private; yea, such an ordinance as brings those that have the spirit of supplication into great familiarity with God; and is also so prevalent in action, that it getteth of God, both for the person that prayeth, and for them that are prayed for, great things. It is the opener of the heart of God, and a means by which the soul, though empty, is filled. By prayer the Christian can open his heart to God, as to a friend, and obtain fresh testimony of God’s friendship to him. I might spend many words in distinguishing between public and private prayer; as also between that in the heart, and that with the vocal voice. Something also might be spoken to distinguish between the gifts and graces of prayer; but eschewing this method, my business shall be at this time only to show you the very heart of prayer, without which, all your lifting up, both of hands, and eyes, and voices, will be to no purpose at all. “I will pray with the Spirit.”