Verse 11: Caretaker of His Heart

I like how Proverbs 31 is written with 2 parts in each verse. This 2-part format helps in remembering the verses as well as understanding them without any confusion.

Verse 11 part one says - The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her...

Trust seems to be such a cheap concept these days, not only in the secular world, but sadly even among God's own. The rate of divorces is only going higher each year. Marriage is no longer a blessed union, but a contractual agreement that last only as long as it is viable for the couple to stay together. The term "commitment" has lost the sense of "till death do us part", because it has changed to "for as long as we want to". In the excitement of getting married and losing one's sanity in the preparation of THE perfect wedding, many do not truly ponder upon the significance of the wedding vow.

The Wedding Vow - I remember when we exchanged out vows. I was so focused on not getting my tongue twisted, that it felt like I did not put any real feelings when I repeated after our Pastor. Don't get me wrong, I know what I promised and I definitely meant it. It's just... well... at that moment.... maybe I'm being too critical of myself, especially being a Drama major and all. I've got to give myself a break and not see it as the "most important performance" of my life. And no, I don't mean performance as pretending, but as in a presentation of an authentic emotion. woah woah woah... I'm going to pull myself back, if not you are going to be subjected to my drama studies dribble. This is not meant to be a 300 page dissertation on performance.

Back to the VOW, yes... in capital letters, because it's oh so serious and important. It should not be something we decide to say in the most fashionable manner, but words that have to be deeply considered, understood and accepted before we sign on the dotted line so to speak. It is an unbreakable contract not only between a man and woman, but between them and God as well. You may be able to divorce each other in the eyes of the worldly law, BUT do you dare divorce God as well?

Pause and think about that.

What is a divorce, but the breaking of a commitment. And if you break a commitment with your spouse (save for reasons of fornication and desertion as stated in the bible), then truly you are breaking your commitment with God as well.

Trust should be the most valuable gift you can give to your husband, just as he should assure you of his faithfulness. Once we decide to join in Holy Matrimony, we are in fact giving... no... surrendering, our hearts and our all to each other. Verse 11 is not simply for husbands to trust their wives, but for wives to trust their husbands too. If you have been given the task of protecting and caring for a priceless object, you will most certainly be giving your 100% in fulfilling that task. Even more so we should be dedicated in being caretakers of our husbands' (and wives') hearts.

Creative Moment 1 - The Little Black Sheep

Oh Little Black Sheep,
Why are you so glum?
The birds are singing,
The sun is shining,
Come play, I say, come!

"No play, no play!"
Wails the little black sheep
"My wool's all mangled,
Twisted and tangled,
Oh woe! My days are bleak!"

"I wished I listened,
But far away I strayed.
In the maze a-wandering,
Vain pleasures and idling,
Soon in my filth I laid."

Hush little black sheep,
I hear a voice beckoning.
O how sweetly,
Softly and tenderly,
Someone to you is calling.

"I am saved!"
The little sheep weeps.
"My Master is here,
Great Shepherd so dear,
For me He sought to keep.

"No more wandering!"
Was the sheep's feeble promise,
For true to his nature,
lured by worldly pastures,
He'll soon be tempted to stray.

Yet the sheep shall remember,
The work of his Master for him.
Pain endured so great,
To save from fiery fate,
And in the Shepherd's grace ever be.

Still at V 10 - Being Virtuous = Woman Power!!

Girl Power..... well, sounds too girly for me. So Woman Power it is.

The word "virtuous" often conjure up an image of a soft spoken, shy, gentle female form, holding a tray of freshly baked cookies in one hand and a broom in the other. Ok, so maybe not everyone thinks that way, but in my once brainwashed mind, I was frightened by the thought of turning into "one of them".

The feminist movement did great damage to the Christian women, causing terrible confusion as to what our true roles are. We are deceived to thinking that being a virtuous woman will strip us of intelligence, dignity and liberty.

After rebelling against myself for so many years, I find myself back where I've always wanted to be *shock, horrors* a housewife! I am now a cookie baking, floor sweeping, clothes washing, baby feeding wife and mother! ............ Asian exclamation coming right up.... now... AIYAH!!!

But is that what being virtuous is all about? A big fat NO! The lies I have been feeding myself over the years. Craaaaaaazy. Could have saved my poor soul a lot of grief.

What does "Virtuous" mean? Simply - Strong in Morals and Character. Nothing there points to being sickeningly sweet, shy and demure. Being virtuous reflects a show of strength in moral conduct and display of wisdom and abilities. We do not have to look far for examples - look at the godly women in the bible and we find that each one of them possess quiet strength that is far greater than all the armies combined.

To borrow a line from an online sermon (http://www.middletownbiblechurch.org/homefam/prov31.htm), the first part of verse 10 could be read as "Who can find a woman of strength?" Ahhhh.... I like... Now I just need to learn to apply strength in the right areas... And this is where the rest of the passage comes in handy.

Verse 10 : Ruby Ning? Nah... just plain ol' Ruey

Verse 10 : Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above the rubies.

I remember during my junior college days in Singapore, we had some sort of a inter-class competition going. I must have scribbled my name too quickly (or more likely it was my bad handwriting), that the "E" in Ruey ended up looking like a "B". My friends had such a laugh when a teacher called out for "Ruby Ning". Ewwww.... sounded like I was some cabaret dancer from one of those 80s styled dinner theatre joints.

Now looking at this verse, I can't even imagine myself being worthy enough to be associated with a ruby. This isn't false modesty at work. I don't even know the value of a precious gem such as a ruby.

Of course, "rubies" in this passage do not only refer to the precious red stones. It means precious gems. The rarity of a virtuous woman is as rare as these precious gems.

I don't know if that knowledge makes me feel better or worse. Afterall, if it's that rare, then I suppose I belong to the majority then? Guess even if I'm not a truly virtuous woman, I can't be that bad, because there are many other women like me.

Wrong.

God doesn't want mediocracy from us. He expects His elects to be present themselves faultless, so we should demand nothing less than the best from ourselves in our service to the Lord. Yes, that's what we should do... but can I? Do I dare start this drastic change and find the virtuous woman in me? In any case, what does it mean to be "virtuous".

I can't imagine myself being this demure, gentle, pie-baking, embroidery-sewing, slipper-fetching woman. Is this what being a virtuous woman is all about?

It's too late to ponder upon this right now... off to bed... maybe I'll dream of myself as an un-cut gem, being polished... and maybe, just maybe, a virtuous woman might emerge.....

Proverbs 31:10 - 31 (KJV) - The Virtuous Woman

10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.

11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need for spoil.

12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.

13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.

15 She riseth also while it is yet night, she giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.

18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.

19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands holdeth the distaff.

20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.

22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchants.

25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

29 Many daughters have done virtuously; but thou excellest them all.

30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

31 Give her of the fruits of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.



Me? A Virtuous Woman? I am feeling the impossibility of this change. but yet I am reminded "with God all things are possible (Matthew 19:26)". Still, it seems like a tall order for me... I need to muster up some mustard seed faith, pray and simply trust in the Lord.

Why this now? Why am I prompted to seek after Proverbs 31 when I have knowingly ignored it for so many years?

My family - My loving husband and beautiful daughter.

Reading Proverbs 31 now impacts me more than any of the times I have ever heard it. I do not even dare to proclaim that I have read it... I mean really READ it. Yes, I've seen this passage, I've even read it out loud perhaps (I don't remember)... but all those time, it was nothing more than printed words on paper. I know the definitions of the words, but never really considered the true meaning and relevance to my life.

So now I seek, because I need to truly understand and apply to my life; and prayerfully with God's help, I will be able to pass this on to my daughter.

Now begins my journey...