Verse 12: Forever means FOREVER...

Verse 12b: "... All the days of her life"

Took me long enough to get to part b... guess I thought I had forever to do it.

okay, lame comment aside.... let's get back to serious business.

Once upon a time, "forever" scares me. I can never understand why some people want to live forever or be involved in anything that says forever. Don't they realise that there is no end to eternity?? Of course, now that I know where I'll be for eternity, "forever" has become a rather pleasant and welcoming thought. Being with my Lord and Saviour for eternity, singing praises with my fellow brothers and sister every moment of every day... what bliss!

BUT back to sinful earth for now, "forever" in earthly time can still be quite daunting. I suppose "forever" here only refers to as long as my life span shall be. We hear courting couple drop the "forever" word a lot these days - in emails, in sms, in love cards etc etc. (love u 4ever!). Hmm... maybe it more accurate to say, "forever" means as long as I feel like it. I have to admit, that I have used the word with its wordly meaning before, not that I meant to, but rather, because I did not seriously consider the depth and importance of it.

As my 2nd wedding anniversary approaches, I find myself re-examining myself - my duties as a wife and mother. Verse 12 reads "....all the days of her life". Although it does not say forever, and very specifically states only in my earthy time, I have chosen to take it as forever. Why? To remind myselfof the big responsibility I have towards my husband. To not let me think that there is an end to my role, because I think it could be tempting to start counting down the days. No... I like to think that I will strive to do my husband "good and not evil" Forever.

Of course it is not an easy task... but with God's help, I hope I can learn to be better at it day by day. That is, I have to remember to seek God first, before trying to do it my way. That's the toughest part I think. When I try to do it my way, to plan the "perfect day" say, it always seem to fall apart. Simply because there is already a preconception of how everything should happen. It is like writing a script, and then directing it, making sure that every prop is set ont he right spot, the actors perform every line without mistake and the audience reacts as they should. I should know better than to even suggest all that, because all directors know that every live performance is different and more often than not, something unrehearsed will happen.

"... all the days of her life" does not mean a perfect rendition of my daily affairs and responsibilities. It is a desire to be consistent in my duties as a virtuous woman to my husband. I cannot be good to him one day, and bad another, just because I don't feel like it. Being a virtuous woman is not about how I feel, it is about how I treat others REGARDLESS of how I feel. At the end of the day, it remains that it is about being totally focused on God and Him alone. It is the only way to be consistent, that in spite of how angry or annoyed I am, I will live and labour for Christ alone. Not only to simply do or act out, but to do so with peace in my heart and a smile on my face.

Now that's a really tall order for me... but with God, all things are possible right?

I'm thinking right now that perhaps I should strive be a virtuous woman, just like how we should live our lives for Christ. If I should die tomorrow, can I say that that I have done only good and not evil all the days of my life for my husband? Can I see Christ and say that I have live everyday for His sake, for His glory alone?

Sure puts a lot of things in perspective...